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Tej Kohli Business Humor

Tej-Kohli — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 06:16:29 +0000

Tej Kohli’s 12 Tips from Junior Employees to Senior Managers on how to Enhance the Relationship:

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it’s really a “rush job,” run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors is good training.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is the priority. Let me guess.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks like that could cost me a promotion.

8. If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversation.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. If fact, save them until the job is almost done.

10. Never introduce me to the people you’re with. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could really change your life.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it’s nice to know someone is less fortunate.

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Tej Kohli – All Is Fair In Business

Tej-Kohli — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 11:08:24 +0000

Tej Kohli cracks a funny joke. After all, all is fair in Business…

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own
opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read ‘BEST DEALS.’

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and
announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading ‘LOWEST PRICES.’

The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign
of all over his own shop. It read: ‘MAIN ENTRANCE’

LOL with TEJ KOHLI

Tej-Kohli — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 11:36:11 +0000

The work qualification test

Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said.

Manager: “Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the American the job”

Murphy: “And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!”

Manager: “We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed.”

Murphy: “And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?”

Manager: “Simple, the American put down on question #5, “I don’t know.”, You put down “Neither do I.”

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Fall in Love With your Job – Tej Kohli

Tej-Kohli — Fri, 23 May 2008 07:36:05 +0000

Tej Kohli shares an interesting poem! Enjoy

I love my job, I love the pay,
I love it more and more each day.
I love my boss and he’s the best.
I love HIS boss and all the rest.

I love my office and its location.
I hate to have to take vacation.
I love my desk, so drab and gray,
And love those paper piles each day.

I love my chair in my padded cell;
There’s nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my peers.
I love their leers and jeers and sneers.

I love my computer and all its ware;
I hug it often to show I care.
I love each program and every file;
I even try using it once in a while.

I’m happy to be here, I am, I am…
I’m the happiest slave to my Uncle Sam.
I love this work; I love these chores;
I love the meetings with deadly bores.

I love my job and I’ll say it again,
I even love these friendly men:
These men who’ve come to visit today,
In lovely white coats to take me away!

Memo Degradation by Tej Kohli

Tej-Kohli — Fri, 16 May 2008 05:10:15 +0000

Tej Kohli business blog hits back with another hysterical piece of humor.
Do you know how Information flows in a corporate hierarchy?
Here is an example:

Memo from CEO to Manager:
Today at 11 o’clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is
when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is
something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for
employees to view the eclipse in the parking lot. Staff should meet in
the lot at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing
the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will
be made available at a small cost.

Memo from Manager to Department Head:
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will
be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will appear for two
minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles. The
CEO will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some
information. This is not something that can be seen every day.

Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:
The CEO will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for
two minutes in the form of an eclipse. This is something that cannot be
seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven.
This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.

Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:
Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the CEO will
eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn’t happen every day. It will
be safe, and as usual it will cost you.

Memo from Supervisor to staff:
Some staff will go to the car park today to see the CEO disappear.
It is a pity this doesn’t happen everyday.

Goshh… Now this is what you call memo degradation. Poor CEO was reduced to the laughingstock of the entire office.